The Double-Edged Disassociation...

So for some time now I’ve noticed that I have a disassociation problem. I somehow know 2 things I have planned but I somehow I keep them separate in my head. Maybe it has to do with the way I think about each of them (in a way, I categorized them differently in my head and therefore I miss the fact that they’re related in some very important way…which usually results in me racing with time…)
Hokay…that may not have made any sense to you. Here’s an example:
Let’s say that I have a big exam in 2 weeks. But the day before, I have a paper due for a different class. And just for shits and giggles let’s also say my club is having an event right before the deadline of the paper. Now, because they’re all different (2 different classes and one club event) I will most likely forget that they’re all overlapping in terms of time. Not until the week that they’re all occurring will it really dawn on me that they’re all really close to each other and that in terms of time, I’m screwed. So prior to this I’m alright and I have no doubt that I can do it all but come that week, I’ll start to freak out and panic. (But I always manage to get it done in the end…just a bit stressful getting there)

So why am I writing about it?

I was walking about the other day and I noticed that this disassociation problem that I have has also applied itself to the fact that I’m so far away from home. In some place in my head I know that I’m not home, that I’m in Japan and that I’m overseas. But that same area in my brain never really got down to thinking about how freakin’ far I really am and how crazy it still that I’m living by myself. Then I thought about how trippy it must have been for my cousin to come and see my apartment. I think because I came fresh out of college, my apartment had a bit of that “dormitory” feel to it (aside from the fact that I get my own kitchen and bathroom!). I remember my cousin mention how it was weird for her to think, and see, my apartment. But I never really got the full effect of it (until like 1 or so weeks ago).

And I think this problem is also why I end up being so busy. I end up agreeing to do many things (personal things and grouping things) and only the month of (or like 2 weeks before the events) do I really noticed how booked I really am. I’m not joking when I say that my weekends get booked about a month before! It’s rare to have that weekend to myself. I think that’s why Monday has become my Whatev Night. And consequently, my TV night.

Anyhoo, I randomly felt like writing about that. Not sure how much sense that made to you guys…but at least I got it out of my system. :P